Longtime Daily World columnist Mark Harvey bids adieu
December 31, 2019
By: Mark Harvey
Email: mark.harvey@dshs.wa.gov
(I’m fighting off the urge to begin with, “The time has come, the walrus said…”)
But, the time has come: I’m retiring.
And after 772 weeks of us meeting here, I’ll be stepping away, and I will be forever grateful to Doug Barker and all the good folks at THE DAILY WORLD for their patience, encouragement and the amazing opportunity to “meet” so many of you.
How does one say “goodbye,” after 772 weeks? I have no idea, so I won’t even try. I think what I will do, however, is attempt to sum-up what are, in my opinion, the most important aspects of this whole “aging thing.”
And that usually begins with a question that goes something like this: “How smooth is the road ahead likely to be?”
ANSWER: About as smooth as the road behind – And if you take the time to think about it, I just told you a whole lot more than you think I did.
Folks in my business tend to spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating the question, “What do Elders want?” – Said in the same general tone of voice and inflection as the question, “What do Martians eat?” As though Elders were Martians.
As though, at some magic age (60? 65? 79? 98? – Whatever…), all those “normal” people stepped into the “ELDER MACHINE” and were duly processed and homogenized into an anomalous species called “Elders,” emerging with unfathomable (ALBEIT, unanimous) habits, preferences, tastes, predilections, abilities, challenges and destinies; alas, allow me to be the bearer of thought-provoking tidings: There is no ELDER MACHINE.
It’s true: When you hit that magic age, here’s what will be magically different: Nothing. You will still be the same old YOU; with the same foibles, opinions, tastes, talents and beliefs. The same preferences and the same politics, the same joys and the same sorrows and the same old body that got you to “here,” more-or-less.
OOPS.
Now, close your eyes for 30 seconds and visualize what you WANT your life to look like in 10, 15 or 40 years – Go ahead, we’ll wait…
OK? Here’s the picture that most of us saw. We saw a life that looks, more-or-less, as much as possible, like our lives look right now – Colored by a few hopes, dreams, fears and the tyranny of genetics, certainly, BUT – We want life to continue to be “life,” as we have chosen to define it. A continuation. Life. Not “less” – We do NOT want life to be “less” – And WE don’t want to be LESS – We want to be…”US!” To continue.
Here’s the only thing that REALLY changes in that ELDER MACHINE: The sudden realization that almost none of us will achieve immortality – OOPS! So, in my opinion and in my world, the game becomes, “How can we keep life looking – AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE – The way it looks right now?”
I’ll offer three points:
- Think “Health & Health Care,” but think about it in terms of what you can DO, not in terms of this-or-that diagnosis. We want to be able to get up and get going and have our days (and our nights) on our own terms, with as little “help” (think, “interference”) as possible; so…
- STOP DOING STUPID STUFF! We all know what we do that we shouldn’t do, so stop doing it! (…or, do less of it…).
- MOVE! Use-it-or-lose-it applies! – So, unless you’re done with it, use it!
- Find a healthcare professional that you trust and TELL THE TRUTH! Listen & TALK! Then, do what you need to do, as though it was your responsibility to be responsible for yourself – Because, it is.
- And figure out your health insurance, or find someone who has and make friends.
- MONEY! This is America – Money counts; like it or not, that’s how it is, so figure it out and do the best you can. PLAN! Get out of debt! Figure out Social Security! It is absolutely true that money can’t buy happiness, but it does buy heat, food, medicine and underwear – So, THINK ABOUT IT!
- I’m often asked some derivation of the question, “What’s the worst thing that is likely to happen to me as I get older?” – And people expect to hear something like “falls” or “Alzheimer’s” or a “stroke” or – And, certainly, those things can happen (I could go on about “falls” ‘til morning! – But, don’t panic – I won’t), but here’s what’s MORE likely to get us:
- Fear
- Ignorance
- Isolation
Not knowing that there’s help out there, or being too proud to ask for it. Being afraid that if “THEY” knew how much help I really needed, “THEY” would put me in a nursing home, so I isolate and go downhill and downhill and downhill and, pretty soon…Right: The self-fulfilling prophecy, fulfills.
A little help on the front-end can change EVERYTHING.
I could bury you alive in programs, services and acronyms! I could put you into a coma with strategies, resources, Advance Directives and DPOA’s, and I could drive you –Screaming! – From the room with health insurance nuance, but I can’t give you the one thing that will do you the most good, because we all have to find it for ourselves: A sense of purpose. A mission. A reason to be.
The belief that there is a reason to continue. That there are still opportunities to contribute – To be part of the “solution” – To make things better. To help. And that it truly is NOT “over,” until it is.
That every day is the next opportunity to begin again – To get it “right” – To do better.
I want you to hear that AGING IS NOT AN AFFLICTION, IT’S AN ACHIEVEMENT!
Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Love is all there is.
Thank you.